I just wrote this big post from my phone about why I'm dropping out of the ircc and it ATE IT.
So basically it went:
There are nine days and I'm not ready. I don't want to turn in partly completed items, but I feel kinda failure-y. I totally underestimated full time mommy to an infant, full time career that often isn't just forty hours a week, putting in our letter of intent for the barony, a schedule change at work, campaign season (we don't camp in artemisia), getting sick in a way that antibiotics won't fix, being hush hush about that, boyfriends job, family trauma and drama, and my general procrastination regarding anything thats just for me.
Whered it all go wrong? My first problem was not having my silk on hand. Too often as ladies and mommas we put off what we want and even need because there is always something someone needs/wants more. So our desires go on the back burner. I watched my silk fabric money go the way of vehicle repairs, baby toys, baby clothes, boyfriend video games, house items, household items. I only resented it a little. But I'm a mommy and a girlfriend. It's just what I do.
I'm a great leader and task master, when it's not for me. There was always something, anything, to be done and so I told myself I couldn't take time out my family time, cleaning time, cooking time, friend time, scribal time to have sewing time.
So what did I learn? I need a schedule. I need to stick to it, deadlines can be moved but not if I've just been lazy. I need to track my tasks and my progress better. Everything is doable if I just try.
Now am I going to make and finish my planned dress? I am. I want to wear it to coronation weekend. Why am I not just pushing it all thru to finish for the competition? Because I would cut corners, do some sloppy stuff and be disappointed in it at the end. So I'll finish my dress by my birthday, wear it and all my layers to coronation, and still feel like I accomplished something worthwhile.
Then I'll apply what I've learned and move on to the ACC.
Thank you for reading this, dear friend. For not judging me too harshly and for understanding.
Don't worry! Crap happens, life happens and life happens far more often to new mommies than the rest of the world. Don't see it as a failure, but as a chance to grow and move forward. I know that's kinda trite, but I really mean it. All your friends know how talented you are - even as busy as you are. This just gives you more time to work on stuff for the ACC challenge that you can do completely, correctly and be proud of. We love you Fia-cakes!
ReplyDeleteI didn't get a single thing done the first year of my twins' life. I totally understand how it goes with priorities on everyone but yourself. The only reason I have managed the IRCC is that it has been the only thing I have done. I've still seriously been considering dropping out since Tuesday because I'm embarrassed by what I've made. It seemed okay until I started to see what people who REALLY knew what they were doing came up with compared to my crummy dress and bad documentation. I really wish I was coming to Coronation so I could see your dress.
ReplyDeleteI don't think we have ever met (although I could be wrong I travel and I am a social butterfly), I loved getting to know you through the challenge. I loved watching your progress and thinking you were so insane for taking on so many other projects. I am glad I got to see you beautiful scrolls. You are not a failure. It takes a lot to put your foot down and refuse to compromise quality. I look forward to seeing the outfit whenever it gets finished and I plan to follow your blog just so I can see the amazing things you will do next. I hope someday I get to met you in person so we can geek out over so many things!
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to make ME time when so many other people want a piece of you. Children get harder before they get easier and self-entertain. I understand you're disappointed. I was so happily cheering you on. Make a pretty birthday dress. And finish your flaming hot drawers!!
ReplyDeleteWell you are definitely NOT a failure...you inspire me beyond words. Because of you I felt strong enough to enter the ACC! Am I freaking out yet? Hell yes! And I still have til December to finish with no baby, although I am becoming a Squire to my Knight & shield brothers so, maybe I do >;) But you give me hope almost every day girlie...I want you to know that! And I can't wait to see your new dress...and be flashed by the Flaming undies >;p
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