I just wrote this big post from my phone about why I'm dropping out of the ircc and it ATE IT.
So basically it went:
There are nine days and I'm not ready. I don't want to turn in partly completed items, but I feel kinda failure-y. I totally underestimated full time mommy to an infant, full time career that often isn't just forty hours a week, putting in our letter of intent for the barony, a schedule change at work, campaign season (we don't camp in artemisia), getting sick in a way that antibiotics won't fix, being hush hush about that, boyfriends job, family trauma and drama, and my general procrastination regarding anything thats just for me.
Whered it all go wrong? My first problem was not having my silk on hand. Too often as ladies and mommas we put off what we want and even need because there is always something someone needs/wants more. So our desires go on the back burner. I watched my silk fabric money go the way of vehicle repairs, baby toys, baby clothes, boyfriend video games, house items, household items. I only resented it a little. But I'm a mommy and a girlfriend. It's just what I do.
I'm a great leader and task master, when it's not for me. There was always something, anything, to be done and so I told myself I couldn't take time out my family time, cleaning time, cooking time, friend time, scribal time to have sewing time.
So what did I learn? I need a schedule. I need to stick to it, deadlines can be moved but not if I've just been lazy. I need to track my tasks and my progress better. Everything is doable if I just try.
Now am I going to make and finish my planned dress? I am. I want to wear it to coronation weekend. Why am I not just pushing it all thru to finish for the competition? Because I would cut corners, do some sloppy stuff and be disappointed in it at the end. So I'll finish my dress by my birthday, wear it and all my layers to coronation, and still feel like I accomplished something worthwhile.
Then I'll apply what I've learned and move on to the ACC.
Thank you for reading this, dear friend. For not judging me too harshly and for understanding.